A Food Delivery Rant

I’ve been doing food deliveries for Uber Eats and Grubhub for almost 2 years now, and I’ve gotten to see some pretty interesting things during that time. Delivering food is quite easy, but it does have some drawbacks. One of them is delivering after dark. It’s always hard to find the right address, and apartment buildings are next-level complicated.

Last week I found myself doing some night deliveries. I had a pickup from Dairy Queen. I remember being quite excited when I recognized the address. I had just been there the day before and knew exactly how to find it. As I pulled up to the building, I heard my phone ringing. I ignored it and rang the buzzer. There was no answer. I double-checked the info and proceeded to ring the bell again. The phone rang again, so I answered. It was the guy I was trying to locate. He was challenging to understand, as he didn’t speak English very well. I did understand the building number he was giving me, 1125.
I was at 1140, like the app said. As we were on the phone, I started driving through the apartment complex, searching for the right building. I had to get out of the car to see the numbers on each building. It took me quite a while to realize that every address had an even number. There were more apartments across the street. It was about this time that the guy put someone on the phone I could understand. He explained how to find the building, but I still couldn’t. Frustration was clearly clouding my judgment by this point. The guy made a comment about the Uber GPS being off. His reasoning was that he’d just ordered something and had similar results. I informed him that the GPS only works when the person requesting the food puts in the proper address. Next, he suggested coming outside so I could find him.
I drove up and down the road again and finally saw a guy standing there. I pulled up beside him and got out of the car. We chatted a few moments before I went into the car and grabbed the food bag. It was at this time that this guy told me the food wasn’t his. It was for his neighbor. He pointed to the door I could find him at. I got back into my car with the food bag. The neighbor then motioned for me to roll down the window. “Just a heads up,” he said, “he’s not wearing any clothes.” The guy disappeared into the evening after the comment. I seriously considered bailing on this delivery, but that didn’t seem right, given all the trouble I had locating this place. I saw a shirtless male standing there through the window the door had. I did my best to no look as I made my approach. I quickly handed him the food as he apologized for the inconvenience. I’m glad he was wearing boxers. He also has the coolest neighbor ever. You’ll find me outside freezing my ass off in the dark for my neighbor’s food, just saying.

So, next time you order food, please put the proper address in. Double-check the info if you have to. Especially at night. And for God’s sake, put some clothes on when you answer the door. Nobody wants to see those man boobs as they deliver food to you.

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