A Most Unstoppable Force

Kaster’s Kurse

I never know exactly when it’s going to strike. Unaware fighters have been falling victim to it for years. It’s an unstoppable entity that just can’t be contained. I honestly believe I could be held personally responsible for the downfall of many… many fighters.

Careers have been ruined, dreams shattered, and many homes have probably been broken—all on account of the fighters I find myself rooting for in this ruthless fight game. Tony Ferguson has been claimed as its latest victim. I wasn’t always the biggest Ferguson fan, but he finally won me over with his gritty victory over Anthony Pettis a mere 6 months after having knee surgery. And do you want to know the kicker? He used his own holistic methods to recover from the procedure. As someone who had 3 knee surgeries, I was forced to become a fan. Those of you who are fortunate enough to be reading this are probably thinking to yourselves how crazy I must be, but hear me out before you pass judgment. I genuinely am sorry Tony Ferguson, there is nothing you could’ve done to defeat Justin Gaejthe. It was my insistence on cheering for you that led to your untimely demise. The Kaster Kurse never discriminates.

It all started years ago. The Ultimate Fighter is the Primary reason I became such a big UFC fan. I fell in love with everything about TUF Season One. Especially Coaches Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture. Both are victims of the Kurse. I’ve had a hard time accepting it at times. I mean, think about it. How could I possibly be responsible for UFC fighters losing fights? But I’ve been forced to accept the ugly reality that is the truth. Those I cheer for always lose. And usually not very long after I start cheering for them. Let me help you understand. I thought Chuck Liddell was unstoppable until he got stopped by Couture. Then I flip-flopped my allegiance for the rematch. After witnessing an older man in Couture lay the proverbial smackdown on the Ice Man, it convinced me the same would happen during the rematch. Wrong again! The Kaster Kurse bit Randy Couture right in the ass.

I must confess -It’s not ALWAYS a sudden thing. Liddell won my Fandom with his victory over Couture. His 2nd victory over Tito Ortiz is what gave him my ultimate loyalty. I hated the Huntington Beach Bad Boy, and I was glad to watch Chuck slap the taste out of his mouth for the second time. Once again, I found myself thinking The Ice Man couldn’t be stopped. Then he ran into the freight train that is Quinton Rampage Jackson’s right hand. After a 7 fight win streak, the Ice Man was defeated by the man who became his biggest nemesis. I still loved Chuck after the loss. What’s not to love? The entire reason the UFC acquired the rights to Jackson’s fight contract was that Chuck wanted to avenge his previous loss to Rampage. Now that’s a real fighter. But, unfortunately for him, when I gave Liddell my fan loyalty, he began accumulating losses. So, I must apologize to you too, Chuck. I won’t take it personally if you blame me for Ortiz getting that cheap victory over you. Damn you, Oscar De La Hoya, for taking advantage of the Ultimate MMA Legend to turn a buck! Fuck you, OSCAR!!… you magnified the power of the Kaster Kurse with your actions. I hope you’re proud of yourself, you prick.

It doesn’t stop there. I kind of… maybe… became a little bit of a Rampage Jackson fan after he beat Chuck. Ok, I became a HUGE Rampage fan after he knocked Chuck’s ass out cold. And that doesn’t mean I stopped being a Chuck fan. I maintained my Fandom for Liddell, which is probably why his career just kept getting worse and worse as it went along. And so did Rampage Jackson’s. Rampage was a vicious knock out artist that, while in Pride FC, would allow his opponent to lock in triangles so that he could violently slam them to the canvas, thereby finishing the contest. None of that transpired after he KO’d Chuck. Jackson claimed a decision victory over Dan Henderson before losing his belt to Forrest Griffin of all people. Now that’s not meant to insult Forrest Griffin. It just means that before the Kaster Kurse reared its ugly face, Forest Griffin and Rashad Evans would’ve been in deep shat against Quinton Jackson. I’m sorry, Rampage. I most likely ruined your career too. DAMN this fucking Kurse!!

Cain Valasquez and Anthony Pettis both need to be mentioned as well. Pettis was unstoppable until I began openly telling my friends he was the best fighter on the planet. Then they put him on the Wheaties box; he’s been an under 500 fighter since. I remember explaining to anybody who would listen how Cain Valasquez is a heavyweight that never gets tired… Like I was literally saying this DURING his fight with Fabricio Werdum. “Cain Valasquez does not get tired” was my exact quote. The next thing I heard was Joe Rogan describing how Cain looked wobbly and tired. It’s just never-ending. Anderson, Silva, Rich Franklin, Conor Mcgregor, Ronda Rousey, the list goes on and on.

The Kaster Kurse is an inevitable disaster. I should just stop watching MMA altogether; but I can’t help myself. It’s too damn awesome and impossible to predict. As if the cycle isn’t brutal enough. These fighters have to contend with another man holding a training camp with a single mission in mind. That mission is to train to do as much bodily harm to his/her opponent as possible. Then they have to deal with this bullshit Kurse on top of it. What a vicious cycle indeed.

It doesn’t stop with MMA. As I said, The Kaster Kurse does not discriminate. I have also destroyed more than one NFL career via my fantasy football picks. But that’s a story I save for another time. -IF YOUR LUCKY!!

PS… please don’t beat the shit out of me when you read this OSCAR DE LA HOYA. And I know you’ll DEFINITELY be reading this because The Express Yourself Freely Blog is kind of a big deal. My comment was only meant to INSULT you because you’re a greedy asshole. Not to mention your a completely insensitive prick that loves to do coke and probably suck dick on this side. And I openly state that I have no boxing training or fighting skills whatsoever. So if you’re compelled to beat the living shit right out of me, go right ahead. I hope you feel proud to be able to badly beat a guy that’s never thrown an actual sober punch in his life. And I know OSCAR does coke because Dana White said so. And we all know that Dana White never lies. So go FUCK YOU OSCAR!! I hate your fucking guts for embarrassing Chuck.

Actual evidence that Dana White said Oscar De La Hoya is a cokehead: https://youtu.be/eA_NVJgIj7I

Thank You Fight Hype.com!!

DISCLAIMER… ‘For the record, this is not an accusation that Oscar De La Hoya is on cocaine. Or that he sucks big fat cocks. This is the author of this article’s opinion, and there is no factual evidence to support any claims that may or may not have been made. It’s also meant to be taken as a JOKE, so I hope Oscar isn’t ACTUALLY offended. But if he is, then he can FUCK OFF and learn to take a JOKE.’

Don’t blame me, OSCAR… Blame the Kurse… It can’t be stopped. One can only hope I don’t develop a rooting interest in them. I can’t seem to help myself, dammit.

Once again, I have no boxing training or fight skills whatsoever. But I’m chocking Oscar De La Hoya out right now. IN MY HEAD!!

Now go back and read this entire post in Will Ferrell’s voice, and it’ll prob-a-bly be a whole lot funnier.

Feature Image provided by Steve Johnson on Unsplash. Thank you!!

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