I’ve come to realize that no matter what circumstances I may come across in my life, I’ll always find a way to complain. Yesterday, I woke up in a great mood. I was giving myself a friendly good morning pep talk as I prepared to begin my food delivery journey for the day. I have no reason to complain, I reminded myself as I pulled my hair back in an attempt to put it into a mantail. I’ll admit, I’m a complete novice when it comes to having long hair, so normally simplistic could trigger me into a childish fit. I didn’t think that was the case yesterday morning. I may have been wrong. I’ll explain.
As I was logging on to my Grubhub app for the day, I explained to myself that no matter what happened I would NOT call customer service to complain. No matter what. This was a rule I was forced to break two hours into my so-called workday. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m nothing but a spoiled brat. Only a spoiled brat would find ways to complain about doing a simple task such as picking up food from restaurants and delivering it to people for cash. I should be happy with business being so good. But that’s just not good enough for my pampered American ass.
It was my third order of the day. A ten-dollar order for Schlotzsky’s. After another four unsuccessful attempts at creating the perfect mantail and I was combing my fingers through my hair as I heard my phone bing. The rearview mirror must be too small I reasoned, knowing full well I should be able to tie my hair back without even needing to look. The only defense I have for myself is that I’ve never had long hair before, so get off my back. Suddenly I heard my car notify me that it was low on fuel and would run out after fifty miles. I decided to make a pit stop to fill up. Which may have been a fatal mistake. I’ll let you decide.
As I was filling up my phone binged again. It was a message from Grubhub explaining that I needed to get to the restaurant asap or they’d remove the order. That’s new I thought to myself as I started my delivery vessel. I was pulling into Schlotzsky’s within Fifteen minutes of accepting the order. A reasonable amount of time considering the fact that I’m regularly waiting ten minutes at the restaurant for these orders to be ready. Right before I parked my phone binged again.
After parking, I read the message on my phone. It was the Grubhub app removing the order from my task list. That’s all it took. My good morning pep talk I’d given myself was a complete waste of time. I called customer service. I knew they wouldn’t help me and they didn’t care about my problems, I just wanted someone to bitch at. And I found that someone rather quickly. After they made me verify my information they asked about my issue. After I explained they made their normal reply telling me they cared about my issue and wanted to assist me in solving it. I told them that was an outright lie, that they didn’t care one bit about what I was going through. After allowing me to vent for a solid two minutes, the customer service agent asked if I wanted to be transferred to the driver specialist. I told him I didn’t even know such a thing existed, but since it did I agreed to the transfer. I did not, however, agree to the hold time.
How hard could it be? I thought to myself. The dudes on youtube made it look so simple. Just slide the elastic hair tie over the top of your hand and keep it on the wrist as you’re pulling the hair back, they explained. So, I pulled my hair back and slipped the tie over my hair, no problem. That is, until I attempted to make it tighter. I had a fit simply trying to pull my hair through the first twist-a-loop. So I didn’t even try making it tighter. I left it. And if fell out right away. After struggling through the process for the next twenty minutes the only thing I was successful at doing was creating a tangled mess. I combed my hair and left it down as I began my day. But I continued trying to tie my hair back all day long.
After holding for about fifteen minutes I gave up. I said fuck Grubhub for the day and turned on my Uber app. See what I mean, I have nothing to complain about. After completing my first Uber delivery since the incident my phone rang. It was the Grubhub customer service agent; the same one who placed me on hold. He apologized for the call getting disconnected and asked if I still wished to speak to a driver care specialist. I mean, I thought that’s what you were I asked. I told him he could transfer me as long as there wouldn’t be an extended hold time. He said there wouldn’t be and he is a lying asshole. After waiting for ten minutes I hung up. I was resigned to the fact that my Grubhub deliveries for the day were finished.
My anger intensified with each Uber order I delivered. It wasn’t so bad that they couldn’t resolve my problem, I’m used to that. I was demanding payment from Grubhub for taking my order away as I arrived at the restaurant they sent me to. Is that too much to ask? I’d even accept partial payment but every time this shit happens I get screwed. I wasn’t mad about the nonpayment thing. Not anymore. I was enraged at the lies. Every damn customer service agent creates unrealistic expectations through the lies they tell. They say they care about my problems, but the only thing they care about is getting me off the line. Then they have the nerve to ask me to complete bullshit surveys regarding how they assisted me. Really? They never assist me and I never stay on the phone to complete the survey. Maybe I should start.
My anger eventually reached a point where I decided to call Grubhub back. But I did wait while I have myself another one of those pep talks. I listened to my advice this time. I convinced myself to make an adult phone call and have a calm conversation no matter what lies I was told. I called back and explained my issues to this customer service agent. I asked if I could be transferred to a driver care specialist without a hold time. He explained that there was a high volume of phone calls they were receiving and that wasn’t possible. Gee, I wonder why they have so many calls? At least I’m not the only one with issues I thought to myself. I asked I he could have one of these driver care people call me when they get the chance. He said he could. As of this writing, I’m yet to get a callback. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet so I realize they may still call me back but I’m not holding my breath. And I’m never calling customer service again!! HAHAHA!!
So, what do you think? Do I have a good reason to be mad? Or am I just a good old fashioned American asshole that’s too privileged? I’d love to hear any thoughts you may have in the comments.
Thank you for reading and have a great day!
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