2020 is the year where nothing surprises me. There have now been two times where I’ve been surprised to find my father watching a particular movie. The first was when my grandfather had become very sick, and my mother decided to stay with him for a few days. I walked in on the old man watching Striptease, which surprised me in a proud son sort of way. Here was my mother, who was taking care of her ailing father, so I figured my dad would be sitting home feeling somewhat depressed that he needed to spend a few days without the woman he’d married all those years before. Instead, it was almost like he was eating a forbidden apple from the Garden of Eden by watching what my mother would indeed consider a skin flick. It was one of those moments where I realized my dad was just a regular guy and not just my old man.
Moving right along to the second time, I felt shocked to find my father watching a particular movie. It’s not abnormal for me to swing by my parents and watch a movie with them. It’s usually a movie like Rambo or Lethal Weapon, ya know, something where my mom complains about all the shooting and violence that’s going on during the film. She usually zones out about half an hour in and resorts to playing whatever games she plays on her computer. She often questions how he and I can like such disgusting and despicable man type movies.
But the other night, something was different. I walked in to find the old man scrolling. “There it is,” he said in a reasonably excited tone before hitting the play button. I had to do a double-take on the television screen as I thought my eyes had surely deceived me. Next, I blamed my ears for missing a movie my mother had surely requested. I was wrong on both counts. My old man sought and decided to watch The Notebook without any encouragement from my mother. I asked my dad if he knew what this movie was about. His only response was that Becky, my sister, who doesn’t like a single good movie, told him it was good. Becky, who likes movies like Ten Things I Hate About You and Save the Last Dance, is who my dad has resorted to taking movie advice from. In fact, my brother and I were texting back and forth, and neither of us could come up with one single movie, Becky likes. The Old Man should know this by now. But both of us feel like we’ve sorta let the old guy down.
Ok, as if my father watching The Notebook isn’t bad enough. As the movie was starting, I explained to my father that this was the ultimate chick flick. This is where my mother decided to start arguing with me by telling me The Notebook is not what she would call a chick flick. Now I want you to picture George Costanza trying to have a civil conversation with his parents. That what it’s like when I communicate with my parents. My mother is pretty adamant that The Notebook is not a chick flick. I can hardly even type those words. The best part is that she conceded that it is a love story, but somehow in her book, a love story is NOT a chick flick. I don’t even know what that means??
I concluded that my father was watching this movie to somehow impress my mother and make her happy. Only about half an hour into the movie, my mother decided it was past her bedtime and decided to check out. So here I was, sitting there watching The Notebook with my dad. Now I don’t know what’s worse… the fact that my father sought out and decided to watch The Notebook with zero encouragement from my mother… or the fact that I sat there and watched the entire movie with him to its conclusion. My only defense is I couldn’t allow the old guy to suffer through the car wreck alone.
And now I have a huge bone to pick with chick flicks. Why is it that all women say they want a faithful man? That’s a pretty big deal from what I’ve heard. All women want a man who won’t even think about cheating, but they like these movies where a woman is basically whoring herself around. Like this chick in The Notebook is a complete tease. There’s a point in the movie where she’s engaged and decides to take a trip and visit her ex-boyfriend. The boyfriend who just rebuilt the entire piece of shit house they did it in as teenagers. And she doesn’t tell her soon to be husband a damn thing. I’ve heard many women refer to The Notebook as the most incredible love story they’ve ever heard of, and here this chick is tramping around for half the damn movie. She cheats on her fiance in a downright malicious way, but men are supposed to be these faithful and obedient servants. Give me a break!
Get over yourselves ladies!! BAHAHAHA!!
I’m blaming this entire incident on COVID-19. My father has lost his damn mind and the CoronaVirus is to blame.
Does this warrant me having my man card revoked? Let me have it in the comments.
Thanks for reading, and have a great day!